Jesus Christ! My eye hurts so damn much!!!

        Toby, my older brother, keeps trying to press a cold cloth to the swollen bruise now blossoming beneath my left eye.

         What’s a cloth gonna do?

        It’s bad enough there isn’t any makeup left in the world to cover up spots, now I had a ruddy great splodge of blue and purple covering my upper cheek.

My friends, Aiden and Josh, are being hollered at by my dad. It’s soooo not fair! We didn’t even do anything! It’s not our fault the Village Idiots showed up.

        Ricky, Sammy, Dewi, Callum and Gareth have always been a problem. They pride themselves in being the local hooligans: destroying the local park, vandalising the village hall, smashing up market stands, then hurrying away like children. Anyway, I digress – these idiots show up at the school and start upending tables, scaring the crap out of the girls I was teaching with Aiden. Aiden told them to shove off, but one thing led to another and it somehow turned into a full-blown fight. The commotion had attracted the attention of the other classes and more of my friends got involved. I was trying to pull Ricky off Aiden when I got an elbow to the face.